"Memory" by E. Prosser Rhys

The Relationship of Frances Power Cobbe and Mary Charlotte Lloyd

Mary Charlotte Lloyd [1819-1896] and Frances Power Cobbe [1822-1904] met in Rome, where Mary was a sculptor and, from the 1860s, were life partners until Mary’s death.

Mary was born on the 23rd of January, 1819 in Llanbedr-Dyffryn-Clwyd, Denbighshire, to Edward Lloyd and wife Frances Maddocks, an old family in North Wales, who owned over 4000 acres of land. Little is known of Mary’s childhood, or indeed much of her life outside of her life with Frances, but she may have lived with the ‘maiden’ aunt, Margaret Lloyd, from whom she inherited gifts from ‘Lady Eleanor Ponsonby and Miss Ponsonby,’ The Ladies of Llangollen, and letters to her aunt from the poet Felicia Hemans.

By her 30s, Mary was sculpting in the studio of John Gibson, a sculptor also from North Wales who Norena Shopland writes possibly had a relationship with Welsh artist Penry Williams. Harriet Hosmer studied with Gibson also and she and Mary became friends - Mary had also studied with Rosa Bonheur in France.

Mary met Frances Power Cobbe in the winter of 1861 in Rome, when they were 39 and 43 years old, respectively. Sally Mitchell writes that they were both ‘mature, single women’ who ‘had private income, lived alone, and were fond of animals’, who were both establishing a professional identity, but were opposites in personality. Frances was good humoured, witty, a ‘jolly Irishwoman,’ but Mary was much more introverted, and was even written as ‘Pessimist, unsociable, gloomy,’ but still devoted to Frances.
Frances was born on the 4th of December, 1822, in Newbridge House, Ireland, to Charles Cobbe and Frances Conway. She had a similar family background to Mary, born to old English-speaking, Anglican gentry in a Celtic country. She was a writer, social reformer, Suffragette and anti-Vivisection activist. She was associated with Charles Darwin, among other intellects of the time, and travelled to Rome to socialise with like-minded Suffragette and other lesbian women, such as Charlotte Cushman and Mary Somerville.

Frances and Mary’s relationship developed over the next 2 years, with Frances returning to visit Mary in Rome, even when Frances had suffered an injured to her foot that affected her health for the rest of her life. From 1864, however, Mary and Frances both returned to England, living together in South Kensington, London from 1865, which Mary had paid for with her inheritance, though they split the bills between them.

Mary’s pessimistic image may have been due to her desire to return to Wales, where she often returned to visit, such as to help care for her dying brother. Frances wrote her works while in London, though a sculpture by Mary, Horses and Play, was exhibited in 1865 by the Royal Academy of Arts, in the National Gallery. Mary also planned to build a studio in their garden, with Rosa Bonheur visiting her in 1869.

They continued to travel separately, Frances also visiting Ireland, and Mary returning to Rome, such as when John Gibson suffered a stroke which he died from in 1866. Mary also supported Frances in her suffrage endeavours, such as with the NAPSS and in signing petitions, though she was not heavily politically involved. They continued to share an interest in animal activism also - 2 paintings by Mary appeared in an exhibition of women artists in 1868, which were paintings of her nephew’s dogs, Mary was an executive for the Home For Lost Dogs, which became Battersea Dogs Home, which Frances and Mary raised money for by mortgaging their own home.

Of Mary’s travelling, Frances wrote to Mary Somerville in 1869; ‘I thought ere this you would have had my better half with you… Poor old darling, I am comforted by knowing she is happy & enjoying her little fling. Her life can ever have too much of that to make up for the part - but I am very lonely & sad without her.’ Frances also wrote to Mary Somerville of Mary (Lloyd) returning to her like a ‘truant husband.’ In Frances’s own published writing, she wrote of their relationship; ‘Of a friendship like this, I shall not be expected to say more.‘ In the Duties of Woman, Frances writes of marriage and of ‘friendship,’ which certainly seems to mean same-sex partnership in the context, where marriage and partnership are seen as equal.

Mary’s own sense of privacy may have been behind this, but we can also see that despite claims that lesbian relationships and partnerships were perfectly accepted in the 19th century, even celebrated or fashionable, and though Frances was in a way quite open that Mary was her partner, they could still not go into explicit detail on the nature of their relationship. Even with as much writing of Frances’ that survives, including her own autobiography, we don’t know enough about their relationship to know more about Mary herself.

They moved to Wales in 1884, where they had often visited together over the years, staying in a rented cottage, and where Mary had continued to long for. The continued to rent a cottage at first in Wales, before they could afford to live in the house Mary had partially inherited in Hengwrt, which was helped by Frances inheriting from a friend in 1892. Frances called themselves ‘The Ladies of Hengwrt,’ after the Ladies of Llangollen, and like the Ladies, they received letters addressed to ‘you and Miss Lloyd.’ Here they flourished, where Frances wrote of as one of the most beautiful parts of the kingdom.

Mary passed away in 1896, from heart disease, and was buried in Llanelltyd churchyard, where Frances could see from her windows and visited early every morning. Frances and Mary’s partnership had been ‘thirty-four years of a friendship as nearly perfect as any earthly love may be - a friendship in which there never was a doubt or break - or even a rough word - and which grew more tender as the evening closed.’

Frances died on the 5th of April, 1904, in Hengwrt, and both are buried at Saint Illtud Churchyard, Llanelltyd.

Sources:
Sally Mitchell, Frances Power Cobbe: Victorian Feminist, Journalist, Reformer.
Norena Shopland, Forbidden Lives: LGBT Stories from Wales.
Frances Power Cobbe’s and Mary Charlotte Lloyd’s graves.
Living Histories Cymru.
The photo of Mary Charlotte Lloyd was published by Frances in the Abolitionist in 1900 and was taken in 1864 or 1865, possibly by her brother John Lloyd.